February 15-16/17, 2008
Day 1-2: Fresno to Los Angeles to Japan to Bangkok to Chiang Rai.
WARNING: I HAD A LOT OF TIME TO KILL AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS……REMEMBER, THIS IS NOT REQUIRED READING
DISCLAIMER: I SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP ME BILL….NOT!
TURN OF THE (HALF) CENTURY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our fearless leader Bill Ho. Today is his actual birthday and he decided to spend it with us. Bill, we all know, is a humble guy and mild mannered who usually keeps a low profile. However, this is different. It’s the BIG 5-0 +!, give or take. (Hey Bill you don’t look a day over 60… but don’t worry I know a good plastic surgeon that can help you.) Actually, the celebration of Bill’s birthday started with a HUGE pot luck at the church last weekend. Over 200 people attended. We intentionally made it look like we were celebrating Chinese New Year but it was really for Bill’s birthday. It was very festive. We just didn’t bring out the cake because “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. He’s a shy guy you know. Then, he invited a select few to this great big party (sorry if you weren’t on the “Invited Guest List”), got Richard Bruce to rent this fancy tour bus and is taking us to LA and we will be flying on his chartered plane to an exotic destination. He’s been planning this big bash in Thailand for the past year. There will be several dignitaries that will be greeting Bill and his entourage there. Then he’s taking us to the capital of Laos, Vientienne. We might even get to meet the President or Dictator or whosever in charge there. I’m not worried that it’s a communist country; Bill has connections and promised us to get us out. Right Bill? Otherwise Richard will get us out. I think he still has those CIA connections. Then Bill plans to go on a shopping spree in Bangkok and see his friend Pong at the Jewelry Mart. Bill’s gonna be the “Bling King”, maybe get those 24K grills he’s been talking about with a diamond stud. He be phat instead of thin. We’ll be at this 5 star hotel and he will get a Thai massage, have palm leafs waving on him to keep him cool during his manicure while sipping Mai Tais and arranged Thai babes to feed him bananas and papayas and sushi all before we return to the states. And get this; this is the best part. HE GOT FCBC TO PAY FOR IT!!!!!!!!!! He’s a clever guy you know. I mean “resourceful.” Can’t you just picture him LOL (laugh out loud) “Ho, Ho, Ho or Ha, Ha, Ha?” I feel so privileged to be invited….Hey Bill, where we going next year? We’d better make a lot at the next Doong fundraiser ‘cause you’ll have to top this year.
So we all gathered today at the church at 1:00 pm for the send off. We all had our bracelets that Pastor made for us saying: FCBC Medical Mission Team Matthew 28:19. I guess if some of us get separated from the herd, they can corral us together. Some kind of branding, I guess. Some of us had to take work off and the dentists cancelled there tee-off. What a sacrifice. That is this year’s theme: SACRIFICE. The FCBC Medical Mission Team (shouldn’t it be Medical-Dental or Dental-Medical or Medical-Dental-Optometrical-Pharmaceutical-Nursical-General Helperical-Pastorical Team to be politically correct?). Eighteen members and our 36 pieces of luggage/boxes plus carry-ons showed up. Our group is definitely a wide load. Our loving fans and family took the time off work and school and took the time to send us off. Sacrifice. Thank you Lena, Ali, Jennifer, Lindsey, Courtney, Britni, Mary, Herb, Vicki, Dr. Mau, Diane, Vi, Nanette, Dr. Fung, Jerry, Gerlene, Joanne, Edmond, Jeannie, Chris, Sylvia, Sharon, Irene and friend, Liz, Collette, Larry, Moe, Curley. I know I may have forgotten someone, but thank you EVERYONE present, past, and future for your well wishes, encouragement and prayers. Who knows if they’re going to see us again? I know DON”T SAY THAT! We took photos and gave hugs and kisses. Bailey (Lowe’s Yorki-poo) and Kona (our Shih-poo) were sad to see us go and whimpered. Kona protested and left me a present on the parking lot so as to have something to remember him by. Bill donned his birthday hat and finally got his birthday cake, made a wish, and blew out the candle. He was going to change into his birthday suit but we had to go, thank goodness! Thank you all that showed up and gave us your support. See you back again at 12 midnight Sunday March 2 (which is really Monday am). Please bring food and change of clothing!
AND THEY’RE OFF!
Quite frankly, we stumbled out of the starting gate. Kinda like Barbaro, may he rest in peace. We got onto 41 and it was congested already. It must have been the 3 day weekend. It looked like it was the start of a long drive so I decided to take a nap, my long needed beauty sleep. When I woke up it looked like we were lost. We were off the freeway along some frontage road zig zagging along country roads. How do you get lost in Fresno County. We were near Ave 80 trying to find the entrance. I have to blame Richard. This so-called “luxury bus” didn’t even have navigational GPS. He was riding shotgun telling the driver to “turn right, no left.” “Get around the traffic.” At one point we were so far into the boonies Pastor asked “Are we in Chiang Rai?” Are they trying to find a short cut to LA? I think the driver was on the verge of asking Richard if HE wanted to drive. Richard, go for it! All of us were wondering if we were going to make it on time for our flight. So four-five hours on the road. We found the highway and as Willy Nelson would say, “Were on the road again”, you know that catchy tune.
It’s only 3 pm and 80 % of us are sleeping. It must be the peace of having the camaraderie and love of brothers and sisters in Christ permeating throughout the bus cabin. Or maybe were just dog tired at the end of our 50 hour work week. I favor the latter. With all this love and joy it’s surreal. (It’s also is a little nauseating or maybe it’s just the bus ride. We’re just killing time hoping to wake up and arrive at our destination. “Are we there yet?” This is actually the short part of our journey. It is estimated that we have to travel over 30 hours door-to-door. I look around and see the serenity of peaceful individuals during the cat nap. A daughter with her head on her mommy’s shoulder napping like in the olden days with the father, nose in the air snoring, gasping, choking due to possible sleep apnea. There is one who sleeping so peaceful with his blankey wrapped around his bald head shielding the rays of light passing through the window. Then there’s the one wearing the visor to cover his eyes and the newlyweds cuddling together resting their heads together like there’s no tomorrow. I smile as I see the man whose sunglasses barely block the eyes and I can see his eyes struggling to keep them open while bouncing his head up and down like a bubble head. Then I realize “Wait! He’s the driver!” He needs Pepsi Max! And it suddenly it dawns on me, I’M THE ONLY ONE WORKING! Pastor overheard me and said “It’s about time”. I think he was talking in his sleep. I have to say, what dedication I have. Thank you Mark. I’m welcome. This journaling will keep me busy; I hope I have time to see a few patients in the meantime. I’m still sulking because I didn’t have much recreational time last time due to my after hours journalistic duties. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing these journals but Get Katie Couric to cover it next time. And the dentists got Fridays off last time on our mission trip. Bill seemed to strategically schedule a few days off for R & R (recovery and relaxation). And this trip he said “Luka was nice to us and gave us Friday off.” We don’t even get President’s day off. Hmmm. Sounds suspicious. Well it is Bill’s birthday were celebrating. I didn’t get a chance to go to those famous Thai massage parlors like my colleagues did last time. I might try one on my aching body while I’m in Thailand this time. Purely for medical therapeutic reasons, of course. Don’t worry Lena, I’ll choose a man masseuse. (I’m secure with my sexual orientation.) Funny though, you can’t really tell what some of them are or were. What is the Thai Tickle anyway? What is Tongue-Thaied? Or Thaied UP?
Incidentally, I almost forgot my medical bin (I would have caught heck from Bill!) and I DID forget my computer bag (Thanks Lena for dashing back home). If I forgot that, these ejournal entries would be a lot shorter since I would have had to do them at the internet café like last time instead of at my leisure. Would have been like a short story. Not that I intend to write a book either (what a novel idea?). These entries are mostly on-the-fly thoughts what God happens to pop into my mind at the time so if some of this doesn’t make sense when you read this I may be speaking in tongues. Kind of scary to me. Sometimes I might be mumbling or not making sense. Did that make sense? I have this excuse that I am on prescription medication or it is 3 am and typing in my sleep. So if it seems cloudy, I am not responsible for what is written. I’ll try not to ramble. Lena says I ramble. Sometimes I ramble when I don’t have anything to say. Sometimes I don’t know I’m rambling. Am I rambling now? Do you think I ramble? You can call me Rambo then. What I think is what you get. Enjoy, or not. Fact or fiction, you decide. You have to be a little patient and lenient since I am “volunteering” to journal. Well the truth is that the only way I got to go on this trip is to make myself useful. Bill made me do it. So I’ll try to be productive as the East-West Correspondent and when I have time I’ll play doctor. Free physicals anyone?
We stopped near Bakersfield where we, in Kona’s language, peed and pooped and got fed. It was our last authentic American meal. Truly the epitome of a typical family meal. McDonalds. It’s scary when it says over 10 billion people served. It’s no coincidence then that there are millions of us that are are phat. I didn’t want to use the “O” word either. But I am grateful for the fast food industry. It keeps me busy sucking fat and nip and tucking. Ever see my license plate “TUMY TUK” and “NIPNTUX”? Now that’s a fact. The good news is that I don’t have to hold that sign on the street corners anymore: “WILL SUCK FAT FOR FOOD”. So really the fast food industry has put my kids through college. Kop coon crop! (Thank you in Thai).
Where are we? We must be approaching LA. It’s a slugfest. It really isn’t fun traveling on California roadways. We are in this huge bus traveling 85 mph, cars still are passing us, and we are in the car pool lane. I can reach out and touch the semi-truck next to me (if I had a spray can I could put graffiti on it-LA or bust). Then we hit LA traffic. Snail’s pace. Welcome to LA. We are still wondering if we are going to make it to our flight in time. We have no seatbelts mind you. Kind of like Chiang Rai, though I trust Thai drivers more than US drivers.
And this typing during riding is getting me carsick. So if there are some misspelli ngs, the ke ystrokes get stuck innnnnnnn my vomitussss…….along with the bumpppy riddddeee.
(Okay, this is a good time for a break. You can always put this down you know.)
COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN
Okay, I don’t want any sympathy but I’m sick. Chinese New Year/Bill’s party was apparently too much for me. I have come down with a URI (upper respiratory illness) over the past week. Fact. My doctor says, “Don’t worry but your TB is not contagious.” Okay so I trust him, he’s a doctor. So I haven’t alerted my mission team so not to worry them and I don’t want to be kept off the airlines. They will find out when they read the ejournal later. I have been on two antibiotics, cough medication, decongestants. The bronchitis or pneumonia is barely clearing up but I have cold symptoms on top of hacking up green/brown phlegm. Don’t get grossed out, we are all adults. My cough is barely suppressed by the dextromethorphan. I might need big guns like narcotics. I’m afraid I’m going to contaminate the team. My congestions scares me because even over the Grapevine my ears couldn’t get unplugged even by chewing gum and pseudofed and we are going to reach an altitude of 30,000 feet in a pressurized cabin. I might be confused with a crying infant whose ears won’t pop. My carry on is like a medicine cabinet from A to Z. There is Airborne, albuterol inhaler, Advil, antacid, anti-diarrheal, anti-gas, anti-fungal, aspirin, Avelox, benadryl, Claritin, Cold Eeze, dextromethorphan, doxycycline, hydrocortisone, Lactaid, Naprosyn, Pepto-Bismol, prednisone, pseudophed, Tamiflu, Viagra (how’d that get there? It’s not mine, I swear!) vicodin, Vivarin, Zantac, Zicam, and Zithromax. That’s MY personal pharmacy. No, I’m not a hypochondriac. I’m 50. Okay, things break and fall apart. All I have to say is that it’s a good thing we have a backup pharmacy. I didn’t want to be caught pilfering the pharmacy stock lest some poor needy Thai or Laotian need that last dose of antibiotic. Those drug dealers, Ben and David have a round the clock watch on those pharmaceuticals. I am so ill that Bill had to quarantine me in Business Class! I’ll be away from all my friends and colleagues for 20 hours during the flight. I hope that the lobster and champagne dinner and wide body seats will allow me to cry myself to sleep; I will be so miserable and lonely. It’s a pitiful sight to see a grown man cry.
It’s not just the physical but we have to be emotionally prepared on this trip as well. This is REALLY bad. Most of all I feel crummy since Bill nixed the idea of having my sweet, loving, kind, gentle, dedicated daughter, Jennifer, whom many of you have seen growing up into a mature and responsible women, come with me on this mission trip. Yes, she was making herself available and miss school to come with me to not only take care of me but try to fill the void of since one of the members couldn’t come due to family health issues. She could have been another general helper or a surgical assistant. She even bought me a cane for Christmas noting my declining state. Patty Kunkel had reserved tickets and she could have accompanied me in my fragile state. And I’M going to take care of others in Thailand? Who’s taking care of me? They are going to look at me with pity and say I should be standing in line to get treated. That guy looks sicker than we are. Go to the front of the line, old man. Jennifer even brought her passport with her in the hopes of a last minute reversal in decisions from the powers that be and that Bill would find it in himself to be compassionate. But NoooOOOooo! Was it because she was a relative? Oh, didn’t Bill bring his wife, Gail? Didn’t Pastor bring his wife and HIS daughter. Didn’t Lester bring his wife on last trip and brought his brother this trip. And didn’t Larry bring Lester on this trip too? Or Lester bring Larry. And didn’t Ben bring Gerry last time who was his girlfriend-soon-to-be-wife and bring the new wife now. Is my rambling making sense?! Well, what was it. Do you not like me? One more paper to sign to much for you? No medical or dental experience? Hey, I don’t have much medical experience. I’m a surgeon. When in doubt, cut it out! Cut to cure! No blood on this trip expected. Jennifer always was fond of you,Uncle Bill. Did Dustin and Jennifer have a clandestine relationship in high school and she dumped him? Was it too last minute only 5 days to go? Is Bill saddened that one of HIS daughters in not going? She could have been useful. I don’t know how much strength I have now to continue to write these emails. It might be this from now on:
To Whom It May Concern: Stop. We made it to Chiang Rai. Stop. We’re okay. Stop. See you in 14 days. Stop. Send money. Stop. Send help. Stop. We sincerely miss each and everyone of you (please pass this message on). Stop. Love. Stop. FCBC Medical Mission Team.
She could have continued the ejournals in my absence. WELL THEN, WHAT WAS IT BILL? Okay people, YOU ask him when he gets back or deluge his email at britni@britniho.com Bill’s lucky he’s not rooming with me this trip or he would have heard it from me every day and night. It will be only every day now. It could have been a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know Bill, “Get over it!” I hope I make it back from this trip. Next time I sign up for mission trip it will be Mark and Jennifer Chin.
Well, at least Jennifer was there to console my youngest precious daughter, Allison, holding her head while she wiped away the tears as the bus drove into the sunset. Oh, that was Lindsey Lowe. By the way I will be missing Allison’s 16th birthday on February 25 (so give her a call or text her). Can you imagine! Sweet 16 and never been kissed! (Hey, an old man can wish can’t he). I’m a terrible father. I could have been a better father to Jennifer had she been able to come along...But NoooOOOooo! I’m a terrible father. You try telling them that God is first. Spouse is 2nd. Children are 3rd. Hey kids, I didn’t make the rules. Now I have to wire them money and be a good father. Well, I guess Ali’s now going to get that Hummer that she wanted when she was twelve. She’s smart. She doesn’t want the Jags, too many repairs.
ALL ABOARD!
We finally arrived at LAX in one piece. We had a pleasant greeting from Kelly Lowe and her fiancé Adrian at the airport. I didn’t know who that guy was eyeing our luggage. I was watching him as he was watching our stuff. But then I found out he was with Kelly. His oldest daughter wanted to say goodbye to him. What a sweetheart. At one point, Lester did refer to him as a son-in-law (Freudian slip?). Is that news to you Vicki? Stacy (Chinn) and her husband Doug saw us off too and helped us with the luggage. Kelly’s going home for the 3-day, drive carefully! I think Andrian’s driving anyway. She doesn’t like highways, I’m told.
We met up with Cindy Wu (you remember Cindy?) minus Dr. Bob Wu. I’ll have to digress, again, for a moment. Here’s a little known fact. Bob and Cindy are why Mark and Lena & Co. are at FCBC. I met Bob at Medical College of Virginia in 1982. I was a first year medical student and he was applying for a position in 1993. I think being Asian attracted us toward one another. Remember we were in Virginia where one light-colored-skin guy asked with a thick Southern drawl which restaurant I worked at. With my perfect English, I said I don’t. I work at a downtown Chinese laundry. He nodded his head like that sounds about right. Well I approached Bob sitting in the lobby and I said, “You who! You new?” “Who me?” I’m Bob Wu.” “Who?”, I asked. “Wu.” “You Wu?” “Yeah.” “You married?” I asked. “Yes” “To Who? “No, Wu” “No, to who?” “To Cindy Wu who was Woo and now is still Wu.” “Who to? Cindy Woo-Wu?” “No, Cindy Wu.” “Cindy Woo?” “No Wu now.” I said, “New Wu?” “Yeah, You too?” he asked. “Me Wu?, no I’m Chin.” “No, married?” “To a Woo?” I asked. “NO!” “To a Wu?” “NOOO!” (You know Bob, impatient! Sheeze!) “No I’m married to Lena Chin who was Wong before me. “Wrong for you he asked?” “No, she was right for me, not wrong, but Wong.” “You married the Wong girl?” “Wrong?” “No, Wong.” “That’s right. She was definitely the Wong girl for me.” “I’m from California.” “Me too” he says, “from Fresno.” I paused and with a puzzled look said “Isn’t that where you get gas on the way to Yosemite?” He said, somewhat embarrassed, “Yeah.” Well lo and behold, to make a long story short (like this “email”, Bob went to MCV. I graduated a year earlier and went to Loma Linda University Medical Center for a surgical residency. Then a year after I started guess who showed up at Loma Linda? Bob Wu, that’s who! He went into anesthesia and graduated before me and moved back to Fresno. Then when we moved to Fresno in 1993 after my training, guess who I ran into. Bob Wu, that’s who. “And Cindy, is she still Wu, not Woo?” (Okay, I’ll spare you.) Then he invited us to the First Chinese Baptist Church. Since we were American Baptist it couldn’t be better with all the Chinese culture and the rest is history. Thank you Bob and Cindy, you were a blessing to us. God works in unexpected ways.
Now, to a more serious note. Dr. Bob Wu is MIA. Both Bob and Cindy were planning to make this trip together. Bob recently was in Burma/Myanmar helping out with the Mae Sot Clinic and wanted to extend the trip through there. Anyway, Cindy’s parents Dr. Joseph Woo and Mable were going to watch the kids, Jocie and John John in Tacoma, Washington while the Wu’s were away. But Dr. Woo was under the weather. I think its common knowledge since Dr. Fung was telling me so I assume everyone knows. So Bob had to stay home with the kids and be a good father. We miss you Bob. Better luck next time. Get well soon Dr. Woo. Our prayers are with you. Maybe both Drs. Wu and Woo can come next trip!
So Cindy and I (and Bob) happened to bumped up to Business Class (Thank you God!) and the rest were not in 1st class so I guess they are in 2nd class, like 2nd class citizens I guess. Cindy and I actually were able to sit together but I didn’t want to breathe on her for 18 hours and give her my germs. She didn’t want me to either but I gave up my seat so an elderly couple could sit together. Well there certainly has not been Christian attitude on display by the medical/dental team I must say. It must be the insomnia making them irritable. All these innuendos of prima dona, spoiled, eccentric, hoity toity, came flying my way. While these things may be true, come on and I think I deserved it they don’t have to display their envy (Commandment 10: do not covet your neighbor’s anything.) I’m still recovering and gravely ill so it’s the equivalent to like an ICU bed. You know I need more attention. Otherwise what good am I in a compromised state? I need my rest. Did you see that menu? Roast duck, scallops, prawns, stuffed salmon roll with cream cheese, wine and champagne. I heard that Economy got what we didn’t eat (Ask Ben and Gerry). I did visit the back of the plane and it was quite embarrassing. There was almost a mutiny led by the FCBC group. They were chanting “Food! Food! Food!” “We want Food!” I went back to see what all the ruckus was. Pastor yelled at me “Go back where you belong!” (there were witnesses). Someone else said “I’ll tell you where to go!” Whoa! So I retreated and crawled back into my double wide seat with full reclining capabilities with more adjustments than my Jag where I can even turn on my side and sleep. Fact.
I’m confused. This whole time zone issue. We just lost a day. I guess time really does fly. We’re about 15 hours ahead of you so when you read the day’s happening on the email, it’s going to happen. Like looking into the future I guess. Go figure.
We just landed in Bangkok, Feb 17, THANK YOU GOD!
I’ll let you guys rest. Go back to bed cause we are. I haven’t stop writing as you can tell and now I have writer’s cramp. On a final note today I realized that no matter how many breath mints you eat, it doesn’t cover up 30 hours of body odor.
If you made it this far in one sitting, thank you for your undivided attention Sorry it was so lengthy, kind of like Chinese torture reading it: When will it all end? I’m tired now.
See you tomorrow….Rambo
