Day 10: Destination-Huisan Akha Village Church/Vientiane

February 24, 2008

So Long, But Not Good-bye

We said goodbye to Chiang Rai today, the 1^st leg of our journey. Last night, some went the night bazaar, others went to Swenson’s (the local hang out for the team), and some at the internet café. A few souvenirs for fun, but mostly fond memories are what we take home. Our hosts Luka and Ghan were unbelievable with the arrangements that they made and the food that she cooked for us, nearly 30 people each time. We are going to miss the food and water. We had our last breakfast at the Golden Triangle Inn. There was a bottle of water that we were given in the last few days: Yellow Surprise. Gail tasted it and said it tastes a little funny. Surprise! (Why do you think they call it Yellow?)

Reflections of Passion…Yanni

Our last meal was a time of devotion and reflection of the first week. We patted ourselves on the back for treating nearly 1200 patients. We are a Mean Team Machine. The following is the best accurate to the best of my knowledge.

Dr. Chinn expressed his appreciation of Dr. Tajiri’s lens making machine and universal frames. Without it, it wouldn’t have turned out as good. “New eyes, what a gift.”

Andy Alejo felt that the trip was extraordinary. He expected to work (and he did) and enjoyed it. He felt everyone did his or her part. He said that we are like the body of Christ, like a body and the parts, are all necessary to work efficiently together. He gave a “2 thumbs up!”

Dr. Tajiri felt that “Pastor was a slave driver (and he is)” and chuckled. LOL. He felt that it was a wonderful experience and gratifying. He was grateful to be able to test his theory and invention in an actual setting. He never quit and hung in there. His stamina put a lot of younger members to shame.

Cindy Wu expressing herself with tears of joy felt that the children and the family live a simple life, yet are happy. They play and love each other and are happy. (What more do you need?)

Richard Bruce felt that he was not a significant part of the team since he didn’t have a health care background (a roar filled the air, commotion “That’s not true”, “You are equally equal”, “You’re our security.” See Andy above about body.)

Pastor Jack felt that we were here to serve the Lord. We were here not just for the physical healing but our presence and caring was equally important. We used skill, compassion and professionalism.

The dentists felt it was amazing how they, especially, the children were able to trust the dentists (considering the vulnerability they experience along with the painful injections).

Gail Ho said we served so many people and she was nervous not knowing if she could help since she was out of practice for so long. The fellowship was good.

Dr. Obregon felt that we had a great team to work with. We work well together.

CHURCH IN SESSION

We packed our bags and piled them into Mark’s room for convenience to pack later. I think that they were boxing me in on purpose. We headed to the Akha church that we worked previously in the week. We were greeted by the patients and the members of the church. Thank God, I mean it, thank God we did not have to sing this time. Pastor gave a nice sermon in which Luka translated. Sometimes it looked like Luka was giving his own sermon. Since there was a translation we had to sit through Pastor’s sermon TWICE! Brutal. The women gave their roses to the church and placed them in front, like Laura Lum used to do. After the service we went out and witnessed 6 baptisms. 1 girl and 5 boys, I think. The pastor was standing there in his own clothes that he wore to preach in this cement pool about 8’ by 6’ The baptismee kneeled in their regular clothes and the pastor prayed and then suddenly dunked. One after the others were baptized all the while the congregation was singing. It was quite an emotional sight. Then the Akha gave us another gift a gourd which we added to the collection of a cup made out of bamboo. Gi gave a cd of their Akha music that they recorded so that other Akha throughout the land could learn the music. Correction, there is no Akha in the Philippines that Luka knows of but the music is sent to the Philippines and broadcast out of their to Ahka populations. My betel nut partying partner gave me a bracelet that she made from shells from the river.

We made our long good-byes and hugs and well wishes. I took a picture with “A” and said good bye. I didn’t hug her because I don’t know if that would be forward. But as we were walking down the hill she reached out and she hugged me. That was some show of gratitude. Some of the team will be returning in the summer (Lucky Bill). The team headed back to town for a final lunch with Luka and Ghan. I was surprised that Luka was accompanying us to Vientiane. He wants to extend his ministry and get to know some of the people in Laos.

We loaded the trucks and said good-bye after a slight delay. Our flight route had to be from Chiang Rai to Bangkok to Vientiane. Delays and more delays. Going through customs was fairly easy. Dr. Patton got held up in the security check. He had his personal medication with him lined in a row of bottles. “Are you carrying drugs?”, the guard asked Jack. “Yes these are for personal use.” (I was thinking-you should see what we checked through). The young girl with authority seriously asked “Do you have Viagra?” We all kind of chuckled since she didn’t look like she needed it. Dr. Patton said “No.” Then she discovered 4 pocket knives. “Ahah! You can’t bring these onto the plane!” Scary since they already made it through one security check. These were Dr. Tajiri’s as he was using them for gifts. They confiscated them. We only wonder whether or not we could have got the knives through if we had the Viagra to barter with. We finally arrived at the hotel around 11:00 pm. We are at the Douang Duene Hotel. You did good Bill. One of the members pointed out that it reminded him of his name: DOU(g owyY)ANG. That was Laosy.

The days seem to get longer. It takes awhile to get the rooms settled and the 50 boxes and luggage organized. “All here!” says Richard. Bill assigns the rooms.

Good News! Andy and I are back together. (I knew he and Dr. O wouldn’t last). He has taken me back for a roommate. Funny, we went up to our hotel room and found a king sized-bed. We looked at each other and said, “Let’s take this slow.” So we exchanged rooms to a two full-sized beds. Later that evening, I hear a knock. I peek around the door, half naked, and see Pastor. I say “Yes?” “Oh, this is not working. “I’m looking for my wife!, he said with intimidating and suspicious eyes that were about to explode in a jealous rage (temper temper Pastor. Remember Commandment 6: Though shall not kill). I sheepishly pointed across the room (she’s the one we switched with) and whispered, “She’s over there.” “Oh.” Come on Pastor, I know Commandment 7: Do not commit adultery. Good night, Pastor, sweet dreams.

Day 9: Destination-Phamee Akha Village

FEBRUARY 23, 2008

Quote of the Day: Dr. Obregon had shirts made specifically for this mission. He had “T-AMF MMI” with logos on sky blue shirts (the color of the King Mother). T-AMF stands for Thai Akha Ministry Foundation Medical Ministries Incorporated. Bill noticed how well his shirt fit him. Bill sincerely asked if he had his shirt tailored. Ming replied, “I have a good body!”

Happy Birthday to Wu,

We’re glad you came too.

You’re laugh is infectious,

You look great, it’s true.

Happy Birthday Cindy Wu! You look great and haven’t changed as bit! (You haven’t had plastic surgery have you?) We’re glad you’re doing better and your flu is gone. (Mark doesn’t feel so guilty now.) We were afraid that you were going to pass the flu bug along but we found that only your laugh is infectious. It’s great to have you here and thanks for celebrating your with us birthday today. Thanks for sacrificing to be here with us on your special day. We love you and have missed you so it’s great to have you along for the ride…a long ride.

Love, FCBC Medical Mission Team…Now get back to work! Sorry.

SPANK YOU VERY MUCH

At breakfast time we wished Cindy a happy birthday one more time. Lester and Vicki surprised her with a digital keychain loaded with Cindy and Bob’s children in various stages of their growth. She was very touched. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to give her birthday spanking as anticipated because we really couldn’t figure out how old she really is because she looks so young.

A LONG TIME AGO...

IN A GALAXY (seems like a different world) FAR, FAR AWAY…G. Lucas

Somewhere back in time in some distant land the Akha tribe was formed. There are three main Akha tribes: Ulo Akha, Lomisa Akha, and Phamee Akha. We are at Phamee Akha village where Ghan grew up and Luka Cherumin is from the Lomisa Akha tribe. Here’s a little history on Phamee. If you look at this village and contrast it to the typical villages that we have encountered, it is modern and seems like a lot more affluent here. Now, there’s no corner Starbuck’s, or 7-11, or KFC, or Nordstrom’s Rack but it is nicer than most. There are homes along the mountain with great views of the valley and just over the hilltop is Burma, now known as Myanmar. (After the name change it seems like it is always referred to as Myanmar, formerly known as Burma. Kind of how Prince is “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince” which is now “Prince, the Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.” Can’t they just go back to Burma?) It’s quite a contrast from some of the other Akha tribes. Quickly, opium was abundant in the hills of the Phamee and there was money to be made. The King’s Mother (I’m not sure what her name is but Ming says it is “So Long”) recently past away (so long) had an interest in the Akha and wanted to subsidize them and develop the King’s Mother Project. So she said, my children, NO GROWING OPIUM. Instead, I’ll give you money and build you houses and give you land to grow other things, such as leeche, tobacco, coffee, etc. but NO OPIUM. (Do you think that if we tried that in the States our kids would say, “What ever you say mommy.” Doubt it.) And you have to work. So the Phamee honored the King’s Mother and as a result…BINGO! (Commandment 5: Honor thy Mother and Father, here that kids!) I think that was decades ago so now the forest has come back and is lush and the Akha have flourished, at least for the Phamee who are now in the “high rent district.” Interestingly, even in the States, we still have our areas of slums and low rent districts. We may not be that far ahead of Thailand as we think. Unfortunately, those who are born in the villages have no where to go. They are stuck there if they have no “papers”, no birth certificate since there is no paper trail of whom you are or where you belong. No paper, no money from the government, no access to medical care. For those of you who are wondering “why are they there?” THAT’S WHY WE ARE HERE!” Many of the tribes people, not only the Akha, but maybe a eight hill side tribes don’t have access to medical, dental, or eye care. They can’t even come down the mountain or they might be deported if they don’t have ID. So they live and die in the mountains. That is their only existence for some. So “we boldly go, where no man has gone before, to seek out new worlds” (plagiarized that from Star Trek) to offer health care and also to spread the Good News. It will take time. Thank you God for creating eternity.

TWIN PEAKS

Okay we have to get there first. We travel toward the Burma border out west. If we go too far we will be in Burma which is currently, with the political uproar is nick named the “Wild Wild West.” We see the “Lady in the hills” as we approach the Phamee village. As you recall, it is a mountain range and it appears that the there is a lady lying on her back. You can make out the face, nose, lips, and neck sweeping down her breasts. Curiously, this year, she looks like the breast portion is higher. Did she have something done? There seems to be an eruption of mountainous proportions.

WE ARE FAM-I-LY

We arrive to a very modern looking “village”, more like a town with well paved, buildings throughout, with water overflow plant. Every one in the village is wearing smiles when we arrive. It appears that they are “One big happy Phamee.” The crowd is growing quickly. They arrive before we even have time to set up, similar to a garage or yard sale in the a.m. Triage is very busy directing traffic to the various clinics. We’re generally set up in about 30 minutes and the first patient is ready to go. We set up shop on the school floor. There is a nicely tiled floor with different elevations. Actually too nice since, Dr. Obregon tripped, I tripped and someone else tripped since the steps blended in so well. Maybe we need new glasses.

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

We see a variety of injuries and illnesses. The docs see a lot of repetitive stress injuries. The Akha are very hard working people. They’re muscles are naturally ripped from repeated use of the muscles. However, although they are strong, after years of abuse, it does take its toll on the body. Many have tendonitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, and musculoskeletal pain. This would be a worker’s comp nightmare. They have no choice to work so they live with their aches and pains. We can only hope to alleviate their symptoms for a short time and give trigger point injections and anti-inflammatory injections and teach them ergonomic postions and strengthening techniques.

We see a victim of stroke we cannot help but give aspirin to prevent another. I think they just want the American doctors say that he will be okay. We see burn scar contractures making a 3 year-old’s left hand almost useless. Three fingers are literally welded to his palm in a flexion contracture and he has barely a pincher function with his index finger and thumb. He needs surgical release that I cannot do here. There is a lady with neurofibromatosis (Elephant Man’s disease) with multiple nodules that can’t be removed. There is a child with a 5 day old wound packed with chewed betel nuts placed there by his mother to relieve the pain. It’s impractical to teach her wound care so her technique may be as good as anything I can teach her. I tell her not to chew the nuts, rather crush them. That’s a novel idea. There is an elderly man with a draining wound, probable chronic bone infection. On closer inspection one leg is shorter than the other and a bone is bulging to the side. It represents an old fracture he sustained when shrapnel tore through him in the war as a soldier serving the Americans. They wanted to amputate both legs. He wanted to die whole. So he lived but the bones healed crooked. He was only able to stand a few years ago and he is grateful that he has the strength and courage to do so. He was also sporting new glasses that Dr. Chinn and Dr. Tajiri made. We may not be able to offer a cure or treatment for the patients but as Pastor says, maybe just being here, caring is equally important to them.

HI HO, HI HO (and Larry, Lester, Rachel, Richard) IT’S OFF TO WORK YOU GO!

Again there is a power struggle for the 220 volt outlets by the dentists and optometrists. The dentists try to get some outlets from the optometrists but it’s like pulling teeth. “How many outlets are you going to use?” asked the DDS’s. The optometrists replied, “You’ll see!” The docs get the desks no one else wants and make do. I can’t stress the success that the optometrists achieve with their lens making machine. The dentists are extracting left and right. I see one time there were 3 dentists, Larry, Bill, and Rachel. I think they found a gold mine with all the restoration needed. There was Richard with his apron (I thought it was a large bib at first) and dishwashing gloves. Nannette would be proud to see him so domesticated. Is he like this at home? Does he do windows?

MISSION: mmm(definitely)POSSIBLE

Kudos and props to the Mission Team. In the past 6 days we have seen and treated over 1194 patients vs. nearly 900 in 8 days at the first Thailand mission trip. The estimated distribution 595 medical, 339 dental, and 260 optometic patients treated in Chiang Rai. The eye clinic really made an impact on the patients bringing clear vision for the first time. What a wonder gift of sight. The dentists relieved pain and halitosis and removed teeth in the wrong places with their portable dental chair. The medical team improved the quality of a patient’s life by either curing their infection or palliating chronic problems. We showed patience, understanding, and compassion. Most of all we demonstrated sacrifice from ourselves, our family, and our employment and pocket book. Today’s devotion by Pastor Jack stressed sacrifice and service. I believe Dr. Owyang said it last trip: “It is easier to give money than to give of oneself.”

PATIENT QUOTES OF THE WEEK (from Pastor’s private collection):

“DO YOU REMBER ME?” (Three girls looking at Pastor Jack.)

“SOME DAY I WILL BE A DOCTOR” (Little girl in the clinic.)

“YOU CHRISTIANS SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ONES THAT CARE”

(Norwegian prisoner.)

“LOOK I HAVE NEW EYES” (Patient with new glasses.)

“YOU ARE MY LAST CHANCE” (Prisoner who needed surgery)

“PASTOR WE ARE CHRISTIANS, AREN’T YOU PROUD” (results of prior

Baptist missionaries year before us. Yes, Pastor is proud!)

“WE REMEMBER YOU” (interpreted as a surprisingly “You came back”)

LAST SUPPER

We had our last supper together at a local Chiang Rai restaurant hosted by Luka and his wife, Ghan. All the members of the team including the interpreters were there. We had an assortment of food, seafood (langostino) soup (spicy), string beans (spicy), cashew chicken, fried fish, shrimp balls, We were at an American disco type restaurant playing the popular hits of the 70’s. It’s sad that I recognized so many of them. We just needed the disco mirror ball. There was a game show in the background on TV called Dear or No Dear. Forgive my accent. Dr. Obregon presented a bouquet of roses to all of the women helpers and team members. What a nice gesture. They were all deeply touched and we expressed our sincere gratitudes.

Congregation, we know you remember us in your thoughts and prayers and we feel the support for our well being as well as for the success of the mission trip. Please pray for the patients that we treat so that our presence has an impact on their health, well being, and spiritual growth. Thank you so much for allowing us to help serve people in need and by teaching as an example of God’s love for us.

DAY 8: Destination-Akha Youth Development Center

FEBRUARY 22, 2008

So, sorry, I mixed up the days on the ejournal. It should be:

February 19: Day 5

February 20: Day 6

Okay, I’m recovering from my drug-induced coma from the beetle juice, betel nut, the Beatles or whatever it’s called. When I say it was a blur, it was. The only thing I’m hoping was that Bill was NOT was giving me mouth to mouth resuscitation. I’d rather die.

We finished up unfinished business. We returned to the AYDC because we couldn’t go to another prison. Okay by me! These kids and families deep rooted in the Akha culture. We had about 20 eye patients that we couldn’t do yesterday so they were scheduled today. That was a good move. We only worked a half a day since there were fewer patients today. The eye docs finished their patients, the dentists, the usual, the med docs same. One of the last eye patients was rushed up to the medical clinic because she had to see me for an evaluation. Dr. Chinn saw a lady with a pigmented lesion under the eyelid and an ulcerated lesion on the top. It was really black. It didn’t look to good. A skin cancer was a possibility. When I saw the patients, I turned red-faced. It was my patient from the day before. I had removed a lesion and used silver nitrate for cautery. When the light hits it, it turns black so there was some transfer to the lower lid. It looked like pretty shoddy surgery, but, come on people, look what I am working with! We finished up seeing the last patient. We won’t be back to this clinic for awhile, but I have the feeling that we will be back before you know it.

THERE’S NOTHING, NO, SOMETHING WE CAN DO

One child particularly broke my heart. The chief complaint was: patient not walking for four years! It was a four year-old boy carried in by his petite mother. “What can a plastic surgeon in a tiny village help this young boy?” I asked myself. Instinctively I steered the patient towards Dr. Patton who gave a thorough musculoskeletal exam. The boy was one of twin boys who were born premature at 7 months. The brother died 5 hours after birth. He developed cerebral palsy. Mentally he seemed somewhat normal but physically he was quite challenged. Obviously we could not cure him but we wanted him to be as healthy as he could be so to balance his diet we gave him vitamins. He didn’t need surgery or antispastic medication or really any other meds or any other treatment. We recommended physical therapy by mom to strengthen his weak side and perhaps later a brace could be made. “Is vitamins the only thing we can offer this poor individual imprisoned by his body for the rest of his life. Could we make his life sentence any more comfortable? What about mom’s life sentence of responsibility? Then as they were leaving the clinic, no doubt disappointed, a light bulb popped over my head. Wheel chair. We have a wheel chair ministry! Thanks to Bill Ho a team from FCBC, the College and Career Group, are coming back to Chiang Rai this summer to assemble and distribute over 550 wheel chairs. (Maybe Jennifer can go on THAT mission trip.) We can get him and his mother a wheel chair because it will be soon that she will be unable to carry him and then he won’t be ambulatory. Great! Sometimes it really is the thought that counts; you just need to take the time to think.

FOR EYES

There was this one student at the school that we went to. She had such terrible eye sight she had to sit at the front of the class. Dr. Tajiri’s system only could correct vision up to -6.00 diopter. They shook their heads that day to saying, “We’re sorry, we can’t help you.” We could SEE her disappointment. Dr. Chinn had an idea and thought that if they made a pair of glasses from their strongest lenses, it might at least help her by giving her some, if not, perfect correction. So one of the officials brought her back to the Golden Triangle Inn this evening and they fitted her to glasses and she was so pleased and was looking around appreciating her new found visions. Way to go docs.

EXTREME MAKEOVER

One of our interpreters is Auntica, or “A” as she is known among the villagers. She is young and has quite striking model quality features. I see a lot of pretty patients in my field of work that some men, but not me, may categorize them as “drop dead gorgeous, hot mama, and tight.” But out of respect to my wife and children I want to set an example and I don’t use those terms. Instead I use the phrase “she has nice features.” I think most would agree that she has nice features yet one very visible distraction. She has vitligo. I saw her last mission trip and vitiligo is difficult to treat, even in the States. She has brown patches of dark pigmented skin like tears of a clown with equally white skin. There’s a spot on her chin and around her lips. The hands and legs show more extensive vitiligo. Michael Jackson as this disease as is a well-known news anchor, Lee Thomas, of a Detroit news station. He recently came out of the closet with his condition and wrote a book, “Turning White.” Lee Thomas is Black. Imagine that.

So this trip I brought a mixture of make up with foundation and sticks of this color and that color and samples from my aesthetician and skin bronzer and body makeup to test on her. She was initially excited to try on the makeup. I am no makeup artist by any means but she allowed me to put it on her. I put the foundation and watched as the pigmentation disappeared. Then I applied a makeup with a natural color and blended the entire face. Her nice features became nicer. Her skin was more even and if you glanced at her you wouldn’t be distracted. It looked even better in photos and she was amazed at the difference. At first she didn’t know how to react. Do we make her skin fair or dark like her native villagers, which would have been more of a change for her. She did SEE the difference but I know it would take getting use to. She was embarrassed to see her friends at first because they would see something different which would bring MORE attention to her. I am sure she has the same issues as my plastic surgery patients. What will others think? Why did she do it? Vanity? Should I have gone darker? Will people recognize me? Rather than doing something to attract attention, she is doing something to lesson the attention. This is a major step for her and unfortunately, vitiligo often is progressive.

JUNGLE BOOK

We had time for some Rest and Relaxation. So we went to see the elephants again. We took a boat up north to the elephants. It was like going on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland. The shallow water made the boat ride treacherous but the drivers negotiated the path well avoiding the bottom of the river. One of our boats we were in broke down in the middle of the ride. We waved at them as we passed by but don’t worry, we were going to get help AFTER the elephant ride. We saw another boat bailing out water to keep from sinking. He wasn’t about to abandon ship. We approached the petting zoo. These gargantuan beasts were tamed by banana or sugar cane and a little help chained at the ankle. Each had a “driver” that spoke to them in Thai. We passed on the 100 lb python that we could pose with. Some needed a lot of work on there tusks but the dentists were not up to the challenge. They just gave out tooth brushes. We had a nice stroll throughout the tourist-prepared street vendors doing a little window shopping. This time we went through alternative route through the river. These animals had no problem walking in the river although they did slow down as if they liked squishing the mud between the toes similar to those who had mud bathes before. As they defecated in the river, I was really happy that I chose not to drink the water. I was afraid of getting elephantiasis or something. Whoa, when they pee they could put out fires. My understanding is that a male Asian elephant have tusks, females don’t. Richard considered gluing tusks to the female Asian so there won’t be discrimination. Both the African elephants grow tusks. It is thought that if there is a male without a tusk, he might be gay. That’s a useful fact.

PRAISE THE LORD

Faith and Socorro have been saving for new church ministry. They built a church since the last visit. Several members of the FCBC) donated money to help support the church such as the Fungs (Foogey, Barbara, David) the Bill and Gail Ho, and Ben and Gerry Jues to name a few. To show their gratitude for assistance they made genuine Filipino dinner. Loompia,, thick won ton, pork chops, mango and sticky rice with coconut milk, chicken, sweet pineapple. That was quite a spread. The church was really big and modern. There were accommodations for sleep-over for out of town guests. It’s amazing what you can build from $135,000 US. Anyone want a retirement home in Thailand?

KEEP OUT!

Bill never gets his privacy or time to himself. He really spends a lot of time behind the scenes. I know people bug him from time to time (I have no clue who he or they may be) but he never shows his hostility. I worry about those people. Bill don’t get mad, he get’s even. Sometimes he’s needs time just to chill. I’m the keeper of the pharmacy bins at night. I saw him going through the pharmacy bin and I asked if he needed help. Oh, just trying to get something to help me sleep”, he says. “Find what you need?” “I think so,” he said sheepishly as he tried to hide some blue pill with the letter “V” on it. I said, “Okay, let me know if you need help.” “Sure.” Well later that night I needed to ask Bill something but he wouldn’t answer his cell phone. I went over to his room and there was quite a surprise. There was “Caution” tape criss-crossed across his door. There was this huge sign with flourescent orange letters saying “KEEP OUT!” On closer exam, there was another sign on it saying, “Please do not disturb.” He really wanted to get his point across. I thought there was some noise inside and was going to get security. Then it was quiet. So it must have been nothing. I am glad I didn’t get security; that would have been a boner. Bill is a good sport. We tease him because we love our team leader. Incidentally, after Bill took the KEEP OUT sign down, Gerry coyly walked over with a sashe strut and asked “Bill won’t be needing that will he?”

Day 7: Destination-Akha Youth Development Center

FEBRUARY 21, 2008

Disclaimer: the following accounts are either real, unreal, or surreal

Quote of the Day: Beware of old ladies with red teeth…Jack Patton

LUKA’S MINISTRIES

Not too far from the Inn is the Luka’s compound. It’s located on about 15 acres that Luka has for the Thai-Akha Ministries Foundation. He has a big spread with a nice home and guest house overlooking a valley of tea plants. The AYDC houses over 80 Akha boys and girls who live on the grounds and go to school nearby. At the center they teach Akha so the children can maintain their cultural ties and language and also learn Thai so that they can converse with the rest of the country which helps them to obtain a job later. There is a library where we set up clinic for the dentists, medical docs and pharmacists. The optometric clinic is set up underneath the concrete frame for a tea factory in the making. It was donated by a Mennonite group. It will take 1,000,000 baht ($330 K) for the equipment. Right now a variety of tea is grown here and then taken to a factory 2 hours away to get processed and packaged. We brought some back last trip to support his Tea Ministry. They are hoping to eventually do everything here, on-site.

Within the library is a recording studio. Many of the group, in which we work, including Luka, are self-taught musicians. They play piano and guitar. The group records Christian songs and hymns in Akha. This Music Ministry sends the tapes to various places such as the Philippines for Akha who live there. Many of them cannot read so the hymnals in Akha aren’t useful. But since they can understand spoken, or in this case, singing Akha, the songs can be enjoyed and used as an evangelical tool. Are music videos on the horizon?

We meander down this road flanked by banana trees and the like to two large ponds, one recently dredged. They raise fish such as catfish and Talapia in these ponds for food. They feed the fish with leftovers from the children’s meals. Waste not, want not. Near the ponds are some garbage pits, not unlike our landfills in the States. Luka would like the property to provide a lot of the resources to support the compound and children. In the distance are rice paddies owned by someone else but he would like to eventually purchase the fields to grow there own rice. In the distance we can see cattle grazing which is used for food as well.

Ghan, Luka’s wife cooked an amazing spread and we were glutens. Spicy pork curry, chicken, bread, regular and sticky rice, mango, banana, apple fritters, guacamole dip (yes, guacamole!) and chips, salad, and drinks. Luka and Ghan have 4 young girls from 4-12 years old. They helped do the dishes which I appreciate because I had to do dishes the last mission trip. You should have just seen us rubbing our bellies with our feet up with the toothpick cleaning our teeth. We are very comfortable with each other belching and whatever. We didn’t have to do that maneuver of hiding the mouth with one hand and picking the teeth with the other because we knew what you were doing. Come on, who are you kidding? Hey, is that broccoli between your teeth?

WHERE’S THE BEEF?

There is also a Bull Ministry. FCBC can take credit for establishing a bull ministry in Thailand. That ain’t no bull! So far some families have been reaping the rewards. FCBC sent $5000 to Luka to buy a bull stud. This bull has to make his rounds to three villages to families who have a cow. The bull does his thing and then goes to the next village, and so on, and so on. I’m sure that the bull is thinking “It’s a tough job bud someone has to do it.” He’s strutting his stuff. “I’m a stud. That’s what I’m talking about!” They recycle this guy is until the family has three calves. Men, is this right, being used like this? (Let’s take a vote at the next Men’s Breakfast.) Then the momma cow and calve #2 get sent to another needy family. And the cycle goes on. At sometime the cow will be slaughtered and used for food. Then the calf moves up the food chain. I think there are 13 cows, 4 calves, and one bull. Happy cows make happy cheese.

Some of us checked out the cows the other day. We were hoping to see the bull but only saw some of the cows and some calves. It was out to pasture 100 miles away. The owner was there and you can tell he is out standing in his field. Luka wanted to demonstrate the finer techniques of bull riding. “Yih—Hah! Ride him cowboy!” I think that was a bunch of BS. Speaking of BS, there is, well it’s not exactly called the manure ministry, but even the cow manure is collected and sold for fertilizer for income. I guess its part of their waste management system. We checked out a pile of bags of manure and I tripped and fell. Oh shoot! (paraphrased) I was up to my neck in crap! Kind of reminded me back home. Lester had an idea for a fund raiser-cow chip tossing contest. Maybe we can do that at the next Food and Fun. We’ll have to take it to the Board because I understand that they also deal with a lot of crap. We wanted to see Larry milk the cow. By the way, have you ever seen the star of the teet. You have the person look at the end of the teet to see the “star” (nipple) and then squeeze the teet as they look and they get squirted with milk in the face. It’s hilarious! GOT MILK? That would have been udderly funny. Riding back in the car we smelled an odor. Did someone step in something? Not me. You noticed it first….Luka!!!

AKHA FREE CLINIC

Today was a fruitful day. The medical, dental and optometric clinic saw about 67, 62, and 45 patients, respectively. I can’t tell you how many patients that the eye docs have personally MADE lenses and glasses for. They have given out nearly 26 DOZEN reading glasses in addition to making other glasses. They really are the production workers and Gi and Dr. Tajiri are a two-man assembly man being fed by Dr. Chinn. It got so busy that they had to turn away 20 and try to get to them tomorrow. An 87 year-old man had tears of joy because his sight was restored. The docs continue with their routines, but it’s the nurses and helpers and Pastor that keep us going with the flow. The nurses screen and triage the patients giving clues toward the diagnosis. They also assist with procedures and they are always available to lend a helping hand. Pastor Jack continues his popular “male escort” service and brings the patients to the doctors personally. Oh, I cannot stress the importance of our translators. We could not communicate without the help of Luka, Ghan, Gi, Prah, Auntica, Totu, Socorro, and Faith and of course, Ming. They are invaluable otherwise it would be difficult to pin down their complaints and symptoms. The village people are primarily laborers even well into their seventies. So they have a lot of muscle and joint type pain and inflammation. Many of them want moles and skin tags removed. The dentists continue over loading the tooth fairy aS Richard services four dentists around the clock. At least the medical docs get to sit but the dentists mostly stand all day. That’s brutal.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

We have a great time at these villages. We see baby, mother, grandma, sometimes great grandma. They look great. There age often doesn’t match their appearance. It may be some natural BOTOX. Well, many of the older patients are very traditional. They wear their traditional garments and sport their thick red teeth. It is a dentist’s nightmare for cleaning. Forget about it. There was an elderly lady who had the prettiest smile which also exposed her teeth. It’s almost a status symbol to have teeth like that. Luka was explaining how the teeth got like that. The villagers like to suck on or chew the betel nut. It’s a drug and it’s addicting. The betel nut is the seed of a palm tree. They take the leaf of the Piper betle, which is a different plant and has its own drug, and put edible lime (yes, that caustic stuff, not the fruit lime) powder in the leaf and then add crushed betel nut.

The elder carries all these ingredients and drug paraphernalia in her purse. Luka is explaining and she starts making one. We’re giving her our undivided attention and curiously thinking, “Oh, that’s how it’s done! Hmmm.” Then she raises it to give to someone. Everyone surrounding her except me steps back. So you know how that works, it looks like I stepped forward. She points it at my direction. I smile and in the universal language of shaking my head and saying “no, no…no thanks, thank you any way”; she doesn’t get it. She’s smiling and shaking this thing in my face (I’m getting dizzy from just the smell) and my comrades are egging me on. “DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!” they chant. I hear Lester in the background, “Give it to Mikey, Mikey will eat anything.” I’m Markey, not Mickey. She impatiently continues to shake this toward me, toward my mouth, as she’s loosing her smile with beady eyes. Give me a break, what do you tell this 90 year-old woman? I reluctantly open my mouth out of respect. I’m hoping she washed her hands. I put it in my cheek, smile and say “Hmmm, good.” She smiles; I have redeemed my self. She gives me some piece of bark as a chaser, I guess. “Chew it!”, she motions with here jaw clenching her thickened red teeth chomping her teeth. I’m thinking, “How do I explain my red teeth to Lena? Will she ever kiss me again? Am I not the man that she married?” Now I’m going to have to go to the dentist to get my teeth whitened.

I chew and chew to gain her acknowledgement. She nods like a metronome, pacing my chew. It’s so bitter. It stings my mucous membranes. The Drano is burning a hole in my tongue and cheek. I’m drooling profusely, foaming at the mouth. “Don’t swallow!” “Who said that?”, I think as I search around the room. What, will I die if I swallow. I look to spit in a bag. This dark red fluid comes out. Am I bleeding? I look at her to see if she disapproves of wasting the “score”. Everyone is smiling or laughing but me. Ooh, it’s bitter. I go outside with a liter of water to rinse my mouth. It takes four times in order for it to get clear spit. Whew, that was awful! I am glad to get that taste out of my mouth.

I’m standing near a ledge and have to catch my balance. My vision seems blurred and I get dizzy and the room is spinning. My face feels flush and numb. (Hey, can you make me another). I’m thinking, it’s a good thing I brought emergency meds and the defibrillator with us on this trip. “Am I going to die?” “Someone, call 911.” I look at the lady and she is looking at me in disgust. I think I can make out what she is saying. I’m reading her spinning lips and she is saying “Loser! Lightweight!” Am I hallucinating? Visions of Oliver Twist enter my mind, “Please sir, may I have some more?” “This is some good stuff!” Dr. Owyang worsens the situation by saying “You’re not really here.” His Luka laugh imitation follows. I am loosing my balance and have to sit down. “Are you okay?” my esteemed colleagues inquire. “You better lay down.” “No, I’m okay.” “Okay, then, you have to go to work now, you’re getting behind.” I am thinking, you idiot (no, me). What was I thinking? I really didn’t know that this was a drug. Hello, why do you think it is addicting? I think the lady gave me HER usual dose. I start to examine a patient; its 11:30 am. Cancel surgery. I tell her to come back at 2:00 pm. I go lay down for a little bit. I am not capable of surgery at this moment. I am an impaired physician. This recipe is definitely not making it into the Ho Mei cook book. Later I tried to ask her if she was interested in trading some of my Eclipse wintergreen gum and she gave me the Akha sign language of “No Way!” So I’m NOT responsible for anything that I write from this point since a few of my neurons may be still disconnected.

WHERE’S WALDO? HOW ABOUT MING?

After a hard day’s work we were being treated to a very nice buffet dinner at the Dusit Island Hotel (I can’t believe this wasn’t considered as an optional upgrade considering the 13 hour workdays that we experience. Perhaps it wasn’t cost effective since we weren’t, in fact, spending much time in the hotel in the first place. Weren’t we over budgeted last time and there is actual surplus that could have been forwarded to present or future projects? How much Chinese torture are we to endure?)

We all were excited to treat ourselves to a nice well-deserved buffet. Most of us have lost weight since we have been on the trip. Most of us could afford to loose a few pounds, but if Rachel or Cindy loose anymore weight we are going to have to put a feeding tube down them. It could be due to the worms or diarrhea that is responsible for the weight loss and fatigue. So the culinary delight is welcomed and the timing couldn’t be better. Our eagerness to get there was fraught with oversight. Bill collected money from us to pay for the anticipated bill. Bill wanted it to make it simple so he was just going to charge it. Out of gratitude he did not charge Ming to thank him for all the ancillary things that he does for the team. With zeal and mouth watering anticipation we loaded into the vans that Ming arranged for us. We go through a gated entrance toward this brightly lit hotel-Dusit Island. Whoaah! Didn’t we NOT stay at this hotel last time? Didn’t we save up enough over the last two years to give this place a consideration? Is it too decadent contrary to our humble servitude? Are we not deserving? We parade out of the two vans toward the buffet dining hall.

What a spread and we can’t wait to eat. Bill is trying to explain to the Thai hostess that we made a reservation for a party of 20. She doesn’t seem to under stand him. Ming, who made the reservation, is expected any moment. Any moment passes by and another any moment. “Where’s Ming?” Bill inquisitively asks. “He’s upstairs” someone replied. We are getting impatient since all of us want to eat but we want to pray first and give thanks and we are waiting for Ming. What can he possibly doing that takes so long? Someone wonders if he is checking into the hotel (I don’t blame him). Maybe he going to the restroom and taking his time enjoying every moment to sit on a real toilet instead of squatting on those porcelain holes in the floor. “How rude of him to keep us waiting. Doesn’t he know we are waiting for him. Dr. Chinn goes to look for him. Several minutes pass by. Bill asks, “Who saw Ming last?” Did someone see him board the van? He was out there next to the van before we left someone says but something about forgetting his cell phone. “He wasn’t on our van, was he on yours?” He sat in the front someone recalls. I polled each table. “Did anyone actually sit next to Ming?” “No.” “No.” “No.” There was a unanimous, “No.” We think we left Ming behind! No way, someone saw him board the van. Someone saw him get out of the van. Someone saw him upstairs. We’re sure about that.

Then Ming comes strolling into the dining hall about 20 minutes after we have arrived. “Did we leave you behind?” Bill asks. “Yeah, I forgot my phone and came out and the vans were gone!” Good, now we can go to the buffet. We’re starving! Then we recall that the driver of our van received a call during our trip to Dusit. He’s speaking in Thai. My Thai isn’t too good but I believe he said, “Hello? Opus (Ming’s Thai name)? Hey, where are you? Golden Triangle Inn? You didn’t want to go? Oh, they left you, HA HA HA! They left without you? I can’t believe it; those foolish Americans! Hey, who’s supposed to pay me! You? I better come back to get you. We still going out drinking and getting massage like last night; you still owe me from last night. No I want cash, not betel nut! Okay, Ciao.” Sorry for not speaking up, I wasn’t sure who Opus was so I didn’t make the connection. Bill, did you not have Ming pay because that was a subtle hint for him NOT to come? That’s not right. We shouldn’t have driven off like that. We hurt Ming’s feelings. Ming, I care. We all care. Thanks Ming. You’re a sport.

P.S. This is actually something I typed as I typed myself to sleep: Perfur revomy. (I have no clue, must be the residual betel nut.)